


If Wishes Were Tentacles

by Highlander_II



Category: House M.D.
Genre: Community: au_bingo, F/M, Tentacles
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-03-28
Updated: 2012-03-28
Packaged: 2017-11-02 15:14:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,097
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/370395
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Highlander_II/pseuds/Highlander_II
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>"So, how long have you had an octopus attached to your back?"</i>
</p>
<p>One of House's team has a bizarre mutation.  House is interested.</p>
            </blockquote>





	If Wishes Were Tentacles

He was expecting to find Cameron making coffee when he got to the office this morning, but he was _not_ expecting her to be grinding coffee beans, placing the filter, pouring the water and washing the mugs all at the _same time_. To make sure he hadn't miss-seen what he was sure he had seen, he blinked, shook his head and looked again. Nope. It was right there. Cameron doing all of those things at the same time. She wasn't moving at extreme speeds. Everything was happening in real-time using - extra appendages.

Extra appendages that looked a lot like, could that be right? Like - tentacles?

Sure, House had seen a great deal of 'really bizarre shit' in his time, but even this was a little beyond his purview. He dealt with, usually, explainable diseases. Strange mutations of his subordinates, not typically what he explored. He absolutely was going to look into it. Now that he'd seen it, he was _very_ interested.

"So, how long have you had an octopus attached to your back?" he asked as he leaned his shoulder against the bookshelf.

Cameron sighed, but didn't otherwise move. "Dammit," she muttered quietly.

House raised an eyebrow. "So?"

"A while," she said, tentacles releasing all of their objects and retreating beneath her lab coat.

"How long is 'a while'?" he asked, keeping his post by the bookcase.

She shrugged again and finally turned to face him. "Year or two, maybe. I don't know."

He frowned at her. "You woke up one day with tentacles and you don't remember?" he asked, voice canting toward a higher pitch at the end.

Cameron heaved another sigh. "I didn't mark it on the calendar, because I hoped it wasn't real or that it would just go away."

"And you're still, what, hoping they'll just disappear?" This time he pushed away from the bookcase and stalked across the carpet toward her.

As he closed in on her, she tipped her head back, looking up at him. A quick headshake. "No, I know they're not going away. It's just..." she paused and licked her lips.

"It's just what?"

"They sometimes have a mind of their own," she admittedly quietly.

"Oh really?" He lifted an eyebrow and wondered what they could do when she wanted them to really do some work.

He moved out of her sphere and let her leave. He poured himself a coffee, limped back to his office, and slipped into his chair. The coffee sat on his desk wafting its aroma toward his nose, but he ignored it in favor of a far more interesting pursuit - Cameron's shiny collection of extra limbs.

* * *

_Sure, it was weird, but he thought there were some intriguing ideas bouncing around in his head about how she could put those writhing, wriggling appendages to good use. He wasn't sure he was up to actually engaging Cameron's tentacles, but he was willing to entertain a fantasy or two._

_In his fantasy, he's stretched out on his bed, Cameron kneeling over his hips. She's pushed her hands into her hair while her tentacles tickle across his chest, circling his nipples, squirming into his hair. Everything seems to be going just fine until one of those extra arms curls around his cock._

_He nearly bolts out of the bed. She uses a hand to soothe him, push him back to the bed. He lays down, warily, waiting. This time, she alternates a hand and a tentacle. It's better. It allows him to grow accustomed to the sensation._

_He's still not sure he likes it, but it's getting less and less weird with each touch. Especially when she reminds him that this was his idea. When she does, he tells her that he'd nearly talked himself out of it since it had taken her so damned long to come around to the idea._

House grunted when he was dragged from his fantasy. 'Waved a hand at whoever was shaking him. "G'way," he mumbled.

"House, wake up," he heard a feminine voice whisper.

He cracked one eye open, expecting to find a cephalopod waving at him, but only saw Cameron and her concerned face. That was disappointing. He was seriously considering asking her to indulge his fantasy.

He winced away from the pen-light she was waving at his face. "Stop that," he growled and curled his fingers around her wrist. "I was asleep, not passed out. What is wrong with you?"

A wicked little grin passed over her lips. "Nothing. I just wanted to annoy you."

House almost smiled. She was learning. "Then you should have poked me with those tentacles of yours."

She clapped her hand over his mouth, hissed a 'shh' at him and quickly glanced over her shoulder to see if anyone was in the conference room. "No one knows but you," she snarled at him.

House pulled her hand away from his mouth and released her wrist at the same time. "So, you up for a little experimentation?" he asked, one corner of his mouth tilting upward.

Cameron recoiled. "I am _not_ a lab rat."

"Technically, no. You're a lab-squid. So, I've got a drop cloth and some chocolate syrup." He shrugged. "Unless you prefer fish."

The wave of indignation that hit him could have knocked him over if he wasn't already sitting down. As she was storming out of the office, he levered himself to his feet. By the time he caught up with her, she was standing outside the elevator.

"What, so you'll only sleep with me if I'm not interested in your mutant powers?" he asked.

Cameron sighed and stared at the floor. "You know, I almost told you about it when it happened, thinking you might understand. Thinking you might summon up a tiny shred of empathy for someone no longer in the 'circle'." She even drew a circle in the air with her index finger. "But, this is why I decided not to."

"Because I'm an ass?" He planted his cane between his feet and rested his hands on the pommel. "I'm always an ass."

"I know. That's why I didn't tell you."

"Well, that's just stupid. I'm way more interested in getting into your pants now."

She glared at him. "Go away, House. I have to go stop Spiderman from ruining my evil plans."

A grin curled his lips as he watched her step onto the elevator. Maybe he hadn't had the opportunity to live out that little fantasy from his nap, but he could live, content with the fact, that she was, at least, picking up some heavy-artillery sarcasm.


End file.
